Dara O'Briain explains modern science (stand-up comedy) (advanced)

10. března 2016 v 9:33 | Gren |  Listening
Dara O'Briain is a successful Irish comedian who lives in the UK and has made several DVDs of his shows. One of my favourite of his is The Craic Dealer. (craic in Irish means fun, but crack dealer is a name for someone who sells cocain)

This video is a three-minute routine on how we don't understand the world around us.

First, watch and listen and then read the transcript of the video while listening.

We are surrounded[1] by technology but we don't really know how it works. We think because we've the very breaking edge of all technology that somehow we are geniuses. If we ever fell back in time, fell through a wormhole[2] and landed in renaissance Italy and we'd land in front of a council[3] of the finest minds of that time: Leonardo da Vinci, Botticeli, Michelangelo, we think we'd be gods!
They would look to us, go "Oh my God!" and we'd jump-start[4] science, we'd be the wonder of the age, we'd tell them the things they would never have heard of. It would have been incredible.
No! We're three quesions away from looking like f*cking idjits[5].
Question 1: "What do you have in the future, traveler in time?"
And you go: "We have an amazing thing called the computer. It sits in a room, and we have them in all houses, and it sends information all over the world and draws[6] information in."
"My God!" they say and sketch it furiously[7]. "That is amazing. And how does it keep going[8]?"
"Well, it's connected to the wall by a cable."
"And what happens there?"
"I don't really know, to be honest[9]. They tried to explain it to me… any number of times. But I've never really got it to be honest. Basically[10], there's a thing that lives in the wall and it makes the pictures change. That's the gist[11] of it anyway."
They're all walking away at this stage and you're clutching and:
"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on! We've got a fridge in the future! The fridge is an amazing machine because it keeps cold on the inside and we can put food into it and it doesn't rot[12] and that means we are healthier for longer."
"Well, that's amazing! And how does it work?"
"It hums[13]? And the huming is in some way related to the cold."
"And what keeps it humming?"
"-It's connected to the wall."
"Is it the same thing that made the pictures change?"
"It could be…"
Name a simple machine we use every day. /audience answers/ Microwave is the simplest f*cking machine you could think of?! What house of the future do you live in? When the simplest machine you have- "Oh, I'll just go to the microwave… on my jet pack[14]!"
Simpler than that.
/answers from the audience/
Kettle, toaster. Very good. These are the kind of things… But could you imagine explaining a toaster to Michelangelo?
"You take a piece of bread, you put it in the machine, you press down and you wait."
"And what happens? Does it double the bread, quadruple[15] the bread, does it change the bread into other foodstuff. Does- Ending hunger? Does this machine stop famine[16]?!"
"No, it just makes toast."
"But we can make toast! We hold bread up next to a flame on a fork!"
"Ah! But this does two sides!"
"Five hundred years of science and advancement[17] and you can make two sides of toast?!"
"I like two-sided toast."
"But what keeps the machine hot?"
"…./noise/… It's connected to the wall!"
Alright then! Non-electrical, simple, non-electrical machine we use every day! /answer/
Toilet? Of all the things! Imagine explaining a toilet to Botticeli.
"You gather your robes[18] around you. You sit down. You evacuate your waste[19] into it. And you press a button and it's all taken away."
"But where does it go?"
"It goes into the wall."
"Does it feed the thing that makes the pictures change?"
"Yeah… whatever[20]."

[1] surround - obklopovat
[2] wormhole - červí díra
[3] council - rada
[4] jump-start - nastartovat kabelem (nejčastěji jump-start a car, nejde nastartovat a jsou třeba kabely)
[5] idjits=idiots
[6] draw - táhnout
[7] furiously - v tomto případě: zapáleně (jinak i naštvaně)
[8] keep going - udržovat v chodu
[9] to be honst - abych řekl pravdu
[10] basically - v podstatě
[11] gist - podstata, jádro
[12] rot - hnít
[13] hum - hučet, broukat
[14] jet pack - vznášedlo
[15] quadruple - čtyřnásobit
[16] famine - hladomor
[17] advancement - pokrok
[18] robe - róba
[19] waste - odpad
[20] whatever - jasně, když to říkáš, když myslíš

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